So I'm terrible at names. Not just people I've met but people I've known for years. Also people on TV and movies. Also the names of said movies and TV shows.
I am however very good with faces. Really good with faces, which is why I haven't pissed off every friend and acquaintance I have.
So the following are typical examples of the conversations JP (fiance and all around awesome dude) and I have while watching a show or movie:
Scenario 1
Me: Hey, it's that guy! You know.., he's in that movie where he kills himself and he's in college or something.
JP: Huh?
Me: And he's on that show with the angry man.
JP: Robert Sean Leonard?
Me: Yeah!
Scenario 2
Me: Hey, it's that guy! From that show you like with the alien robots?
JP: James Callis?
Me: Yeah?
JP: Battlestar Galactica.
Me: Yeah, that one!
Scenario 3
Me: Hey, it's that lady! You know, she was on that superman show.
JP: ...
Me: Uhm.., and that show with the.., ladies? Uhm.., you know, one looks like an alligator, the other one looks plastic?
JP: Sex in the City?
Me: No, she looks like a horse and the other one looks like a drug addict. I'm talking about the one with apples? And they don't have jobs or something?
JP: Desperate Housewives?
Me: Yeah!
JP: Teri Hatcher?
Me: Yeah!
I really don't think anyone else could understand the way my brain remembers things except JP.
Also, this is a few examples of how I have people listed in my cell phone so I can remember who they are when they call or secret nicknames I've given them to jog my memory:
Chris - Artist, Sally's
Chris - Good cook, Diana's
Chris - Navy
Chris - Stupid
Cliff - Atari (Atari is my way of abbreviating someone who gets up in my personal space too much. As in space invader. Usually a hugger. Get it?)
Joe - White trash
Joe - Car fixer
Amy - DA DNR (Drug Addict - Do Not Resuscitate as in do not answer the phone.)
Johnny - Stinky Squirrel Pants
Josh - King Tut
John - French Jesus
Julie - MHI DNR (Mental Health Issues)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Dear John Letter to a Grocery Store
Dear Dekalb Farmer's Market,
By the time you get this letter, I'll be gone. I tried really hard to make this relationship work but you just won't let me in.., until I've checked my backpack or reusable shopping bags at your entrance. I cant help but get the feeling you don't trust me. I certainly can't miss the giant signs you're throwing up.., about checking my bags.
The crowd that you run with made me very uncomfortable, all those hippies, I always felt like an outsider. I guess because I bathe, drive a car that isn't practically made of political opinion stickers and brush my teeth. Not that you'd notice of course, you always smell of rotting fish, everywhere. Not just in your fish department but all the way across your store. It just killed the romance. Forget a nice afternoon of smelling the stem ends of fruit to see if they're ripe; the only ripe thing anyone can smell is you!
And Honey, I hate to break it to you but your proper title is "International Market". Farmer's markets are places you can go to purchase goods directly from the farmers who grew said goods. Just drop the whole "farmer's market" thing, you're not fooling anyone.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. You have really great deals on spices! Maybe you can elaborate on that. And remember, good unspoiled fish smells like nothing; try to be a good fish.
With All My Love,
Rikki
By the time you get this letter, I'll be gone. I tried really hard to make this relationship work but you just won't let me in.., until I've checked my backpack or reusable shopping bags at your entrance. I cant help but get the feeling you don't trust me. I certainly can't miss the giant signs you're throwing up.., about checking my bags.
The crowd that you run with made me very uncomfortable, all those hippies, I always felt like an outsider. I guess because I bathe, drive a car that isn't practically made of political opinion stickers and brush my teeth. Not that you'd notice of course, you always smell of rotting fish, everywhere. Not just in your fish department but all the way across your store. It just killed the romance. Forget a nice afternoon of smelling the stem ends of fruit to see if they're ripe; the only ripe thing anyone can smell is you!
And Honey, I hate to break it to you but your proper title is "International Market". Farmer's markets are places you can go to purchase goods directly from the farmers who grew said goods. Just drop the whole "farmer's market" thing, you're not fooling anyone.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. You have really great deals on spices! Maybe you can elaborate on that. And remember, good unspoiled fish smells like nothing; try to be a good fish.
With All My Love,
Rikki
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Neti Pot and Other Reasons I Hate My Allergies
So for the last few weeks I've been getting sick. I started to think I was becoming a hypochondriac because the symptoms were vague and went away after a couple of days. They would come back again and again with just fever, loss of appetite, and general blahs. After discussing it with my mother, (I don't have any health insurance right now so Mom is what I can afford) we came to the conclusion that it might be a low grade sinus infection.
With my terrible allergies I really didn't take into account the fact that I couldn't breath through my nose.
So JP (fiance and all around awesome dude) went and got me a Neti Pot so that I could do the "sinus irrigation" thing and hopefully kick the sick. I read the instructions carefully and used the pot properly. Which brings me to the reason for this post.
Using the Neti Pot has got to be the most uncomfortable thing I have EVER done to myself on purpose. Do you know how this thing works? Basically it kind of looks like Aladdin's magic lamp and a teapot had a baby. You fill it with lukewarm water and salt, then put your head over the sink and stick the spout into your nostril and pour the saltwater into your nose so it washes up into your sinuses then drains out of the other side. Crazy right?? But it's suppose to help.
Remember when you were a kid and you'd go to the pool, and at some point get the pool water up your nose? That's what it feels like. So you have to fight the urge to stop and blow it all out of your nose immediately. My sinuses are all clogged if you'll remember so this isn't a quick thing either. It just dribbles out slowly. The whole time I just have to keep breathing through my mouth so it doesn't go down my throat which it's constantly threatening to do in which case I'd probably gag and that might not be a good thing in that situation.
When the pot is empty the saline solution is still draining out of the other side of your nose so you have to stay in that awkward position for a while and when the solution is done draining then there's a few minutes of runny snot and snot bubbles that have never made me feel sexier. So once I've finished making snot tea, then it's nose blowing and coughing for yet a few more minutes. That's followed by coughing through the night and coughing when I wake up.
If this turns out not to be a sinus infection I'm going to run over that pot with my car.
With my terrible allergies I really didn't take into account the fact that I couldn't breath through my nose.
So JP (fiance and all around awesome dude) went and got me a Neti Pot so that I could do the "sinus irrigation" thing and hopefully kick the sick. I read the instructions carefully and used the pot properly. Which brings me to the reason for this post.
Using the Neti Pot has got to be the most uncomfortable thing I have EVER done to myself on purpose. Do you know how this thing works? Basically it kind of looks like Aladdin's magic lamp and a teapot had a baby. You fill it with lukewarm water and salt, then put your head over the sink and stick the spout into your nostril and pour the saltwater into your nose so it washes up into your sinuses then drains out of the other side. Crazy right?? But it's suppose to help.
Remember when you were a kid and you'd go to the pool, and at some point get the pool water up your nose? That's what it feels like. So you have to fight the urge to stop and blow it all out of your nose immediately. My sinuses are all clogged if you'll remember so this isn't a quick thing either. It just dribbles out slowly. The whole time I just have to keep breathing through my mouth so it doesn't go down my throat which it's constantly threatening to do in which case I'd probably gag and that might not be a good thing in that situation.
When the pot is empty the saline solution is still draining out of the other side of your nose so you have to stay in that awkward position for a while and when the solution is done draining then there's a few minutes of runny snot and snot bubbles that have never made me feel sexier. So once I've finished making snot tea, then it's nose blowing and coughing for yet a few more minutes. That's followed by coughing through the night and coughing when I wake up.
If this turns out not to be a sinus infection I'm going to run over that pot with my car.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Best Way to Make Friends With Rikki
Hey all!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, new job, been busy, blah blah blah.
Guess who's my new best friend? Nicole.
I got my stiched post card:
And she sent me buttons:
And fancy chocolate:
Which I promptly ate!
She also put in a lovely letter that made me feel special. I then used that special letter to point out to JP (fiance and all around awesome dude) that I am so awesome that my awesomeness has now reached Australia and he should go get me a soda because getting it myself might somehow diminish my awesome.
I don't think this actually works by the reasoning I'm giving but he seems to like me.
Thanks Nicole and thanks to Beth as well.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, new job, been busy, blah blah blah.
Guess who's my new best friend? Nicole.
I got my stiched post card:
And she sent me buttons:
And fancy chocolate:
Which I promptly ate!
She also put in a lovely letter that made me feel special. I then used that special letter to point out to JP (fiance and all around awesome dude) that I am so awesome that my awesomeness has now reached Australia and he should go get me a soda because getting it myself might somehow diminish my awesome.
I don't think this actually works by the reasoning I'm giving but he seems to like me.
Thanks Nicole and thanks to Beth as well.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Hey! Something About Pie!
There seems to be only one school of thought when it comes to pie crust: lard, butter, flour, water.
Well I'm going to shock you. My pie crust has more ingredients. Three more.
I'm sure every baker worth his salt would faint when I say this, but I rely on chemical reaction and not temperature.
Whoever wants to know about a pie crust that is easier to work with, flakier and tastier, just let me know and I send you the recipe.
It took me two years to get this right, but you can benefit from my effort.
Well I'm going to shock you. My pie crust has more ingredients. Three more.
I'm sure every baker worth his salt would faint when I say this, but I rely on chemical reaction and not temperature.
Whoever wants to know about a pie crust that is easier to work with, flakier and tastier, just let me know and I send you the recipe.
It took me two years to get this right, but you can benefit from my effort.
Thanks Diana!
The great stitched postcard swap! Do it! Today!
http://aspecialjourneyofmyown.blogspot.com/2010/05/join-great-big-stitched-postcard-swap.html
http://aspecialjourneyofmyown.blogspot.com/2010/05/join-great-big-stitched-postcard-swap.html
Monday, May 3, 2010
I Rock a Stove so Hard it Should be Moshing
I made dinner tonight.
I know most of you will think, "So?"
Seriously though, you should really know that this is a major event worthy of boundless celebration as I am quite accomplished at turning average food stuffs into delightful morsels.
I roasted a lovely and tender "grass fed" shoulder roast with the obligatory carrots, onion and celery. I added a bit of salt, paprika, ginger powder (for real, try it), black peppercorn and a dash of pineapple juice. Pineapple juice helps to tenderize the meat and adds subtle sweetness. I also wilted some beautiful spinach, with olive and garlic, that I picked up from the Decatur farmer's market.
But the crowd pleaser is always the roasted potatoes. I roasted them in olive oil and a bit of salt and surrounded them in thick wedges of Vidalia onions. As the potatoes came out of the oven I tossed them with finely chopped oregano and rosemary from my patio.
This was the pulled together, last minute dinner mind you. Don't you just want to live with me?
I know most of you will think, "So?"
Seriously though, you should really know that this is a major event worthy of boundless celebration as I am quite accomplished at turning average food stuffs into delightful morsels.
I roasted a lovely and tender "grass fed" shoulder roast with the obligatory carrots, onion and celery. I added a bit of salt, paprika, ginger powder (for real, try it), black peppercorn and a dash of pineapple juice. Pineapple juice helps to tenderize the meat and adds subtle sweetness. I also wilted some beautiful spinach, with olive and garlic, that I picked up from the Decatur farmer's market.
But the crowd pleaser is always the roasted potatoes. I roasted them in olive oil and a bit of salt and surrounded them in thick wedges of Vidalia onions. As the potatoes came out of the oven I tossed them with finely chopped oregano and rosemary from my patio.
This was the pulled together, last minute dinner mind you. Don't you just want to live with me?
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