There is an infestation of moths on my patio. Seriously. They are everywhere. Hundreds of them. As soon as dusk settles in they start winging about it their non-sensicle mothy way running into the ceiling, the windows, me. Gross out, am I right?
Not cool moths!
The patio is the only quiet space I have to myself where I can think, participate in internet radio shows with my ultra-nerd friends and conduct phone conversations without the sound of my soon to be MIL and JP (Fiance and all around awesome dude) screaming across the house at each other about who's on the phone with who, that America's Next Top Model is on or about that plane that landed on the highway. Soon to be MIL has no concept of "Inside Voice" and JP tends to match whoever he's speaking with. Here's is an example of a conversation between them:
MIL: JUAN!
JP: WHAT?!
MIL: THE THING IS ON THE NEWS!
JP: WHAT THING?!?!
MIL: WITH THE PLANE ON THE HIGHWAY!!!!
JP: OK!!!!!!!!
MIL: AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! A ROACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JP: I'LL GET IT IN A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MIL: HOW DO I GET THE PICTURE FROM THE E-MAIL?
JP: CLICK ON THE FILE AND THEN CLICK DOWNLOAD!!!!!!!!!!
MIL: WHERE IS THE FILE, I DON'T SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JP: HOLD ON A SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The quietest time in the house is when they've both gone to sleep because even if they're not speaking about how to open a PDF file at a volume that could raise the dead, there are never any less than two televisions on (sometimes three, which is all of them). When they are asleep there's still one television on because soon the be MIL leaves her television on twenty four hours a day.
Why is it so hard to get some quiet you ask? Check out the lay out of my house that I drew that's not at all to scale and poorly done:
(Sorry if this is hard to read.)
That's right, hardly any doors anywhere and soon to be MIL keeps her door open 24-7.
It's pretty pathetic when you enjoy going to the grocery store because it's quieter than your own home.
But now with the moth-pocalypse underway on my patio the only place I have left to go that is quiet and bug free is my car.
um, rikki, you're kind of hilarious!
ReplyDeletei'm super glad i entered a random postcard swap and drew you to make one for because i then found your blog to read and it makes me smile :D
keep doing what you're doing k?
xox
And I really enjoy reading about all your crafts Nicole! Thanks for the kind words.
ReplyDeleteSince I never spend much time on the patio, I have no idea how long the moth spawning season leasts. Hopefully not too long for your sake. Shame hummingbirds don't eat moths.
ReplyDelete"It's pretty pathetic when you enjoy going to the grocery store because it's quieter than your own home."
ReplyDeleteI think if we put our households together we could break the sound barrier. I wanna do Friday Freak Out week!
I think you have a great future as an architect if those blueprints are any indication. I kid, I kid! But seriously, those Etch-a-Sketch are *really* hard to keep straight when you're dodging moths.
ReplyDeleteSissy: Feel free to join me in a weekly freak out, I would be honored.
ReplyDeleteDavid: Really? That's the only thing you could find to pick on? Good job.
It's really hard to be snarky when I'm dealing with someone who writes as well as you, you know. But I have a reputation to uphold, I had to find something. If it's not up to my usual standards, you have only yourself to blame.
ReplyDeleteHOLY CRAP!!! That was a compliment! Who are you and what have you done with David???
ReplyDeleteConsider it a wedding present. :)
ReplyDelete